As usual danah boyd gets the conversation moving in the right direction with her article 'Bulling' Has Little Resonance with Teenagers. She discusses the differences between how adults are looking at bullying and how teens are looking at bullying - and she acknowledges that most teens don't even consider "it" bullying.
As one of the "old people" doing the talking at schools about bullying I have come to many of the same conclusions. Working against bullying requires many things, some of which include: adults recognizing how teens interact; seeing the Internet as what it is, a venue for bullying, not the inspiration or blame; helping kids clearly understand power and privilege; giving kids an anti-oppression framework;
I have much hope for giving schools and families the tools they need to raise a generation of better people - kinder, more empathetic, understanding young people who will grow up to raise a society up out of a time filled with violence, hate, and fear. But if this work isn't a priority at your school, that you need to start the discussion. Following danah boyd's work on the topic is a great place to start.